I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Randomize
