So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize