and you said cock pushups were impossible
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize