addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
they need to just BURY HIM!
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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