My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
