I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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