i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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