btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
