I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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