; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
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