and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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