Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
