He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Randomize
