I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
