Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
