And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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