Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
