I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
