I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
