Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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