Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Randomize