You can't special order awesome
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
