i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
