Tell her she can't have a vagina
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
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