do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
