Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Randomize
