1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
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