when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
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