Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
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