yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
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