P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
