Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
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