3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
