Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
