he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Randomize