Ambien. No doubt about it.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
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