We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Randomize
