i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
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