I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
