Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
