I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
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