all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
They are going to name an STD after you.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
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