hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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