how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Randomize