That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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