the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
