she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
