You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
