just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
3 2 1 whiskey
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
