Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
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