Having a random hookup so left but love u
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Randomize
