Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
