i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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