Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
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