I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
