On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
