And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Randomize
