I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
