look no pants
I wanna passion pit in your ass
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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