why didn't you poke me back
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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