idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
