so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
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