And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
