My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
