It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
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