Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
