so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Walk of Shame today included voting.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
