Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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